I am always asked about the “whos there” response. I get asked how I respond to people who come to my door because I have a friend or a relative who I have not seen in a while. I never know who they are, but I respond very differently to them. I would never want to have to make those introductions to someone I know. I am not really a person who goes out of my way to make someone’s acquaintance.
You are correct in thinking that the whos there response stems from people who have been around for a while, but that’s not the point. Every time someone is on the phone with someone over a long time, you are trying to be a real person and never get in the way.
That might be true of some people, but there are some people who have been around who simply don’t want to be around. They don’t like the process of making friends and acquaintances. You can get very annoyed at someone who has been around for a while, but you don’t have to like them until you know them.
And as a result of this, people who have been around for a long time are not even aware of the process of making friends.
This is a real problem because you become aware of the ways in which you’re being an asshole. We use words like “lazy”, “stubborn”, “unhelpful”, and “dysfunctional” to describe people who are not helpful to other people.
The biggest thing that makes you a complete asshole is that there is no way to be the same person with no friends.People who have been around for a while are not even aware of the process of making friends with people that they are not even aware of.So if you are using words like lazy you just don’t know what to do or how to do it. As a result, you are probably not getting any help from anyone but the person who is having a conversation with you.
Some people do think that people who are not helpful to other people are lazy, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t know how to help others. In fact, they just don’t realize how to do it. If you have been around for a while, you might not be aware of how to help someone who is having a conversation with you. You don’t know if they want to talk, or if they have a problem…
So what are you going to do? Do you try to engage them in conversation so they can help themselves and find out what it is they are looking for? Or do you just leave them hanging? Its up to you, but if you cant help them you should probably leave them hanging.
At the very least, you should address their concern. This is especially true for people who have been around for a while because they often have a lot of time to think about what they want to say and how they want to say it. A few minutes of conversation with someone who is having a conversation with you is the most likely time a person has to be able to figure out what they want to say.
What a wonderful example of what you know and what you don’t know.